Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Master Your Emotions
DBT teaches you to handle big emotions without self-destructive behavior.
What Dialectical Behavior Therapy Teaches
Dialectical Behavior Therapy was developed for people who feel emotions intensely & struggle to manage them. If your emotions feel overwhelming, if they lead to behaviors you regret, if you feel out of control, DBT can help.
The word “dialectical” means holding two opposing truths at once. You can accept yourself as you are & work on changing. You can validate your emotions & still change your behavior. You can acknowledge that your feelings make sense given your history & also recognize that your current responses aren’t serving you. Both things can be true.
DBT teaches four core skills. Each skill set addresses a different aspect of emotional regulation & interpersonal functioning.
Mindfulness forms the foundation. It means being present in the current moment without judgment. Your mind usually lives in the past or future, replaying what happened or worrying about what might happen. Mindfulness brings you back to now.
When you’re mindful, you observe thoughts & feelings without getting swept away by them. You notice “I’m having the thought that I’m worthless” instead of believing you are worthless. You notice “I’m feeling anxious” instead of being consumed by anxiety. This distance between you & your experiences creates space to respond rather than react.
Mindfulness isn’t about clearing your mind or achieving some peaceful state. It’s about paying attention on purpose. You can be mindful while washing dishes, walking, or sitting in traffic. You bring your attention to what’s happening now instead of being lost in your head.
Distress Tolerance helps you get through crises without making things worse. When emotions peak, you want relief immediately. This leads to behaviors that provide short-term relief but long-term harm: self-injury, substance use, rage, impulsive decisions.
Distress tolerance skills give you alternatives. You learn to tolerate pain without adding to it. You survive crises without destroying what you’re building. You accept reality as it is, not as you wish it were.
These skills don’t make pain disappear. They help you ride out pain until it decreases on its own. All emotions, no matter how intense, eventually subside. Distress tolerance gets you through the peak.
Emotional Regulation teaches you to understand & manage emotions. You learn what triggers emotions, what they’re telling you, & how to shift them when needed.
Emotions aren’t the enemy. They provide information. Anger tells you a boundary was crossed. Sadness tells you something matters to you. Fear tells you to prepare for a challenge. The problem isn’t having emotions. It’s when emotions are so intense or frequent that they interfere with your life.
Emotional regulation involves reducing vulnerability to intense emotions, identifying & naming what you’re feeling, & using skills to change emotional intensity when needed. You can’t always control what you feel, but you can influence it.
Interpersonal Effectiveness focuses on getting your needs met while maintaining relationships & self-respect. Many people struggle with balance. They either sacrifice their needs to please others or demand their needs be met regardless of others’ feelings.
Interpersonal effectiveness skills teach you to ask for what you want clearly, say no when needed, handle conflict constructively, & maintain boundaries. You learn to assert yourself without aggression, cooperate without losing yourself, & end relationships that harm you.
These four skill sets work together. Mindfulness helps you notice what’s happening. Distress tolerance gets you through crises. Emotional regulation helps you manage feelings. Interpersonal effectiveness helps you build healthy relationships.
How We Teach DBT
DBT at Live Life Now focuses on experiential learning. You don’t just learn about skills. You practice them until they become automatic.
Skills Training
happens in individual sessions or group settings. Groups are traditional for DBT because learning with others provides support & accountability. Individual therapy focuses on applying skills to your specific situations.
Each skill has specific techniques. For mindfulness, you practice observing your breath, noticing thoughts without engaging them, & describing experiences without judgment. For distress tolerance, you learn crisis survival strategies, reality acceptance skills, & self-soothing techniques.
For emotional regulation, you track emotions to understand patterns, reduce vulnerability through self-care, & use opposite action when emotions don’t fit situations. For interpersonal effectiveness, you practice making requests, setting boundaries, & managing conflicts.
Behavioral Chain Analysis
breaks down problem behaviors. When you engage in self-destructive behavior, we analyze what led to it. What happened before? What were you thinking? What were you feeling? What were you wanting? What function did the behavior serve?
This analysis reveals patterns. You learn what triggers you, what vulnerabilities make you more susceptible, & what you’re trying to accomplish through the behavior. Once you understand the chain, you can interrupt it at various points.
Diary Cards
track your use of skills & target behaviors. Each day you record emotions, urges, behaviors, & which skills you used. This accountability keeps you engaged with the work between sessions. It also provides data about what works for you.
Phone Coaching
is available in comprehensive DBT programs. You can reach out between sessions when you need help using skills in real-time. This immediate support helps you apply skills in crisis moments rather than reverting to old patterns.
Validation
balances change efforts. DBT validates that your feelings make sense given your experiences. Your emotional responses developed for reasons. They served a purpose at some point. This validation doesn’t mean your current behaviors are effective. It means your struggle is real & understandable.
Change happens more easily when you’re not fighting yourself. Acceptance & change work together, not against each other.
Commitment Strategies
keep you engaged. DBT is hard work. It requires consistent effort over months. We work on maintaining your commitment when motivation wanes, when progress feels slow, or when life gets overwhelming.
The work is structured. Each session has an agenda. You review diary cards, discuss skills, analyze chains, & plan what to practice next. This structure ensures consistent progress.
Who Benefits from DBT
DBT was originally developed for borderline personality disorder. Research shows it’s highly effective for this population. But DBT helps with other conditions too.
People who feel emotions intensely
benefit from emotional regulation skills. If your emotions spike quickly, last longer than others’, & feel overwhelming, these skills help you manage them.
People with self-destructive urges
learn distress tolerance skills. If you engage in self-injury, substance abuse, disordered eating, or other harmful behaviors to cope with emotions, DBT provides alternatives.
People with relationship difficulties
gain interpersonal effectiveness skills. If you struggle with boundaries, conflict, asking for needs, or maintaining relationships, these skills help.
People who feel chronically empty or lost
benefit from mindfulness & self-validation. If you don’t know who you are, what you want, or what you value, DBT helps you develop a sense of self.
People with emotional dysregulation from trauma
often respond well to DBT. Trauma affects emotional regulation. DBT skills help you manage responses that are developed to cope with trauma.
People with depression & anxiety
can benefit when emotions are particularly intense or when they engage in avoidance or safety behaviors that maintain symptoms.
People who haven't responded to other treatments
might find DBT helpful. If you’ve tried therapy before without significant improvement, DBT’s structured skill-building approach might fit better.
DBT requires commitment. Skills take time to learn & longer to become automatic. You need to practice daily, attend sessions consistently, & persist through difficult periods.
What to Expect
DBT involves individual therapy & skills groups. Both components are important. Individual therapy focuses on applying skills to your life. Skills groups teach the four skill sets systematically.
Individual Sessions last 50 minutes, typically weekly. You review your week, analyze problem behaviors, troubleshoot skill use, & work on staying committed. The therapist helps you apply skills to your specific challenges.
Skills Groups meet weekly for 2-2.5 hours in comprehensive DBT programs. Groups move through the four skill modules over several months. You learn new skills, practice them, & share experiences with others.
Not all programs offer both components. Some offer skill groups without individual therapy. Some integrate teaching skills into individual sessions. We’ll discuss what’s available & what fits your needs.
The timeline for DBT is typically one year for a full course of treatment. You move through all four skill modules twice. This repetition reinforces learning & allows you to deepen your practice.
Some people see improvement in a few months. Others need the full year or longer. Severity of symptoms, consistency of practice, & life circumstances all affect the timeline.
Practice Between Sessions is required. You use skills daily. You fill out diary cards. You complete homework assignments. DBT won’t work if you only engage during sessions. The practice is where change happens.
Structure & Expectations are clear from the start. DBT has rules & agreements. You commit to attending sessions, completing diary cards, not coming to sessions under the influence, & calling before engaging in self-destructive behavior when possible. These structure the work.
Common Questions About DBT
How long does DBT take?
Standard DBT lasts about a year. Some people need less time. Some need longer, especially if symptoms are severe or if life circumstances create ongoing stress. The four skill modules take several months to teach, & repetition reinforces learning.
Do I have to do the group?
Skills groups are part of a comprehensive DBT. That’s where you learn the tools. Individual therapy alone can incorporate DBT principles & some skills teaching, but it’s not the full DBT protocol. If groups aren’t available or don’t fit your situation, we’ll discuss modified approaches.
What if I miss sessions?
Consistency matters. Missing sessions slows progress because skills build on each other. Standard DBT has rules about attendance. Missing four consecutive sessions typically results in discharge from the program. This seems strict, but it reflects the reality that DBT requires commitment to work.
Is DBT only for borderline personality disorder?
No. It was developed for that population & remains highly effective for it. But DBT helps anyone who struggles with intense emotions, self-destructive behavior, or relationship difficulties. You don’t need a borderline personality disorder diagnosis to benefit from DBT.
What makes DBT different from other therapy?
DBT is more structured than many therapies. It focuses on skill-building rather than insight. It’s time-limited with clear goals. It requires active practice between sessions. It includes phone coaching in comprehensive programs. The dialectical approach balances acceptance & change more explicitly than other treatments.
Will DBT change who I am?
DBT helps you regulate emotions & behavior. It doesn’t change your personality or make you emotionless. It gives you more control over how you respond to emotions. Many people report feeling more like themselves after DBT because they’re not controlled by emotional reactivity.
Develop Life-Changing Skills
Emotional control is learnable. Impulses can be managed. A crisis can be survived without self-destruction. Relationships can improve. These aren’t abstract hopes. They’re outcomes people achieve through DBT.
The work is hard. You’ll practice skills that feel awkward at first. You’ll use techniques when you’d rather act on impulses. You’ll track behaviors you’d prefer to ignore. You’ll commit to showing up even when motivation is gone.
But staying where you are is hard too. Living with overwhelming emotions is hard. Engaging in behaviors you regret is hard. Damaged relationships are hard. Feeling out of control is hard.
The question isn’t if the work is difficult. It’s which difficulty you choose: the difficulty of change or the difficulty of staying stuck.
Your first session involves assessment. We’ll discuss your symptoms, behaviors, & goals. We’ll determine if DBT fits your needs. We’ll explain the structure & requirements. From there, you decide if you’re ready to commit.
DBT works when you work it. The skills are proven. The structure is tested. What remains is your willingness to engage with the process.
Client Testimonials
“I was skeptical about therapy. I had tried a few therapists in the past and didn’t feel seen. But here, I found someone who really got it. We talked about my anxiety around work performance, but also about being a Black man navigating stress and expectations. It’s been a game-changer. I don’t just cope—I’m growing.”
“What stood out to me was the empathy and skill of my therapist. I’ve struggled with perfectionism and shame for most of my adult life. Through therapy and the skills lab sessions, I finally learned how to soothe my inner critic. I feel like I can breathe again. Therapy didn’t fix me—it helped me meet myself with kindness.”
“Therapy helped me understand patterns I was blind to—especially in relationships. I used to push people away before they could hurt me. Now I see how fear was driving me, and I’ve started building real, open connections. I didn’t expect to feel so supported. I’m grateful I gave this space a chance.”
“I began therapy because I felt constantly overwhelmed and unsure of my place in the world. My therapist helped me make sense of my anxiety and gave me real tools to cope. The mindfulness work we did together shifted how I relate to myself. I no longer feel broken—I feel human.”
“I came in feeling numb and disconnected. Years of pushing down emotions had left me empty. Through therapy, I started to understand my emotional world for the first time. I even learned how to talk about feelings with my teenage son. That’s something I never thought I’d be able to do.”
“I work in a helping profession, so I thought I should have it all figured out. But therapy showed me that even caregivers need care. I loved the blend of compassion and structure my therapist brought. The two-hour sessions were particularly transformative—they gave me time to unpack and rebuild.”
“For years, I thought my relationship issues were just bad luck. But therapy helped me understand attachment styles, boundaries, and my own patterns. I learned to stop chasing unavailable people and start showing up for myself. It’s been deeply healing.”
“I never thought I’d be someone who goes to therapy. But I hit a wall and couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. From the first session, I felt a deep respect and safety here. We unpacked years of suppressed grief and stress. I’ve come out stronger, not just mentally, but emotionally and spiritually too.”
“As a young woman dealing with depression and identity confusion, therapy gave me a place to speak freely. I no longer feel like I’m faking confidence. I’ve found my voice, and for the first time, I actually feel like I belong in my own life.”
