A dual relationship in counseling happens when a therapist has another significant relationship with a client outside of therapy — for example, being their friend, business partner, family member, romantic partner, or even their yoga teacher.
Most dual relationships are unethical and prohibited by major codes of ethics (ACA, APA, NASW). Some are harmless or unavoidable (small towns), but many can harm the client and cost the therapist their license.
Here’s everything you need to know to recognize, avoid, and handle them safely.
What Exactly Is a Dual Relationship? (Clear Definition)
Dual (or multiple) relationship = any relationship beyond the professional therapist–client one.
Two main types:
- Non-sexual dual relationships (friend, neighbor, coworker, teacher)
- Sexual dual relationships (dating or sexual contact — always forbidden)
The American Counseling Association (ACA) Code of Ethics states: “Counselors avoid entering into nonprofessional relationships with clients that may impair objectivity or exploit the client.”
Why Dual Relationships Happen and Why They Matter
They happen because:
- Small towns or tight communities (therapist and client attend same church)
- Social media connections
- Running into clients at the gym or school events
- Former clients becoming friends years later
They matter because they can:
- Destroy trust and objectivity
- Trigger exploitation or favoritism
- Cause emotional harm or relapse
- Lead to license revocation or lawsuits
The APA reports that boundary violations (including dual relationships) are among the top reasons therapists lose their licenses.
Types of Dual Relationships (Comparison Table)
| Type | Example | Risk Level | Usually Allowed? |
| Sexual / Romantic | Dating a current client | Extremely high | Never |
| Business | Hiring client for your company | High | Almost never |
| Social | Becoming close friends | Moderate–High | Rarely |
| Professional overlap | Supervising your client at work | Moderate | Case-by-case |
| Circumstantial | Seeing client at kids’ soccer game | Low–Moderate | Often unavoidable |
Step-by-Step: How to Identify a Dual Relationship (5-Minute Check)
Use this checklist with every client:
- Do I know this person outside of therapy now or in the past?
- Could I benefit financially or socially from this relationship?
- Would I feel uncomfortable if my supervisor knew about this contact?
- Could this relationship affect my clinical judgment?
- Would the client feel pressured or confused by another role?
If you answer “yes” to any question → potential dual relationship.
Common Dual Relationship Scenarios Therapists Face
- Client is your hairdresser or barista
- Former client asks you out two years later
- Client’s child is in your child’s class
- You’re invited to a client’s wedding
- Client wants to barter services (massage for therapy)
Best Practices: How to Avoid or Manage Dual Relationships
Do:
- Discuss boundaries in the first session
- Document every non-therapy contact
- Consult a supervisor or ethics board immediately
- Refer the client if a significant dual relationship develops
- Use a clear social media policy
Don’t:
- Accept friend requests on personal Facebook/Instagram
- Attend clients’ personal events (weddings, parties)
- Hire or work with current clients
- Start romantic relationships with former clients within 2–5 years (state laws vary)
Pros and Cons of Non-Sexual Dual Relationships
| Pros (only in rare cases) | Cons (most common outcomes) |
| May feel more human in small towns | Impairs objectivity |
| Can build initial trust quickly | Risk of favoritism or exploitation |
| Sometimes unavoidable | Can trigger client’s abandonment fears |
| Legal and licensing consequences |
Cost, Time & Difficulty of Handling Dual Relationships Properly
| Action | Cost | Time Required | Difficulty |
| Consultation with supervisor | Free | 15–60 minutes | Easy |
| Ethics hotline call | Free | 10–30 minutes | Easy |
| Transferring a client | $0–$300 (lost income) | 1–4 weeks | Moderate |
| Defending ethics complaint | $5,000–$50,000+ | 6–24 months | Very hard |
Common Mistakes Therapists Make
- Thinking “I can handle it — we’re just friends”
- Accepting small gifts that lead to bigger boundary crossings
- Not documenting incidental contact
- Starting therapy with someone they already know socially
- Dating former clients too soon (or ever, in many states)
Expert Advice from a Licensed Ethics Instructor
In 18 years of training and supervising therapists, I’ve seen brilliant clinicians lose their careers over one “harmless” coffee with a former client that turned romantic. The rule is simple: when in doubt, don’t. Your ethical duty is to protect the client — even from yourself.
— Jennifer M., PhD, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor and Ethics Committee Chair
When a Dual Relationship Becomes Reportable
You must report another therapist if you know they are:
- Currently dating or sexually involved with a client
- Running a business that exploits clients
- Using therapy for personal gain
Contact your state licensing board anonymously if needed.
FAQs – Featured Snippet Style
Q: What is a dual relationship in counseling?
A: When a therapist has any additional personal, business, social, or sexual relationship with a client beyond therapy.
Q: Are all dual relationships unethical?
A: No — incidental contact (seeing a client at the grocery store) is usually okay. Sexual and most non-sexual ones are forbidden.
Q: Can a therapist ever date a former client?
A: Almost never. Most states require 2–5 years minimum wait, and many ethics codes say never.
Q: Is it okay to be friends with a former client?
A: Rarely recommended. Only after years and full termination, and only if no harm is possible.
Q: What happens if a therapist violates dual relationship rules?
A: They can lose their license, face lawsuits, and be publicly disciplined.
Q: Can I accept a client’s friend request after therapy ends?
A: Best practice is no — it re-opens the professional relationship and risks boundary issues.
Q: Is bartering allowed in therapy?
A: Only in very rare cases, with written agreement, and never if exploitative (ACA allows limited bartering).
Q: What should I do if my therapist asks me out?
A: Say no, end therapy immediately, and report them to their licensing board.
Q: Are dual relationships more common in small towns?
A: Yes — unavoidable overlap happens, so therapists must document and consult more carefully.
Q: Who decides if a dual relationship is ethical?
A: Your licensing board and professional ethics codes (ACA, APA, NASW) set the final rules.
Summary & Key Takeaways
- A dual relationship in counseling is any extra role (friend, business, romantic) beyond therapist–client.
- Sexual ones are always forbidden; most non-sexual ones are too.
- Use the 5-question checklist every time you notice overlap.
- When in doubt: consult, document, refer — never “see how it goes.”
- Protecting boundaries protects both the client and your career.
Your ethical line is clear: one client, one role, one relationship — therapy only. Keep it that way.
